Hey, this is supposed to be a family friendly blog – well, not really – it doesn’t really make it to the ‘G rated’ place when I talk about having breasts chopped off and new ones put in and nipple placement and, while it is something people should know about at some point, I wouldn’t want my daughter or son learning about breast cancer, chemo and all that mess via someone’s blog post – so no, I’m not entirely family friendly and this category definitely is NOT family friendly.
This is where I’m going to scrape people out from underneath my skin – those people that despite my best efforts manage to piss me off to the point that the only thing that is going to make me feel better is to virtually scream obscenities at them.
I would imagine, most of the time the object of my wrath is going to be someone that I don’t feel that I can openly say “go f*** yourself” for one reason or another…. but… if they happen across my blog and somehow recognise themselves, well, not much I can do about that is there? Of course there is. I could keep my rant to myself, I could make it a private post, I could do the mature thing and write it down and throw it away but somehow those things don’t seem very cathartic.
So, this, among many other of my favourite new ideas came about after listening to a pod-cast and I feel somewhat dishonest in using it – I thought I should probably re-name it and that I didn’t have to use the name verbatim – but so far, I haven’t been able to come up with anything that quite has the same impact… Although, Alison Rosen actually says “Hey, Go F*** Yourself” and I didn’t do that.
Anyway, when I heard it the first time I wasn’t quite sure I liked it but the more I thought about it … the more I thought hmmm this is really quite a fine idea and what the hell?
There is a book or a poem or something about an old woman that decides that she should be able to wear purple hats… oh here it is!
Warning – When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple By Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple with a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves and satin candles, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells and run my stick along the public railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and pick the flowers in other people’s gardens and learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat and eat three pounds of sausages at a go or only bread and pickles for a week and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry and pay our rent and not swear in the street and set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
So yeah, this is my ‘purple hat’ and this is where I will wear it and if you don’t like it, well, then, you can just ‘go f*** yourself’!
and thanks for checking in!